
My husband was away last week. I missed him a lot. But I hardly had to do any clothes washing. I only needed to do one lot of washing up a day. I had the whole bed to myself and didn’t keep being woken up by his snoring.
Do I feel guilty for not missing him in these ways?
No
Would I used to have felt guilty for not missing him in these ways?
Yes
So what’s the difference?
When we have things happen in the past that make us feel guilt in the present, they all add up and come in all at once, the minute you feel the tiniest bit of guilt. Whether it’s someone that made us feel guilty or we did something ‘wrong’.
Firstly, when we feel guilty for something we did, we probably didn’t have the resources at the time to know how to do anything differently. So knowing that can help you forgive yourself.
And if someone made us feel guilty (so they didn’t have to), then we can separate the two and come to realise that’s not our guilt to carry.
Someone asked me the other day, how will we know what memories to edit to change how we feel in the present, so we’re not feeling all the feelings all at once? The answer is, I know what questions to ask and I know what to do with the information once we have it.
We don’t have to live with guilt, it can be transformed into understanding and healing. Then each time something pops up in the present, it wont be as intense and will pass. People tell people to feel the feeling and let the feeling pass, but they dont tell them what they need to do for you to be able to do that. And you’re left trying to feel an intense feeling and it wont pass.
Imagine the impact not feeling guilt could have on your life. You would do what’s right for you more and your self esteem would go up. And you could enjoy doing the things you love, even if it’s a secret guilty pleasure like enjoying less washing and better sleep!
By the way, guilt doesn’t stop us from doing bad things. Knowing what to do in situations and trusting yourself, helps you do the right things. Knowing this can help to let go of guilt too, but this is just the beginning of what we can do. Take a look around the website and see which type of session would work for you. I suggest starting on the Guide Me page, if guilt is preventing you from enjoying your life. Then everything on the Launch Me page will seem a lot more possible.
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